Many of us have potentially become numb to the issue of the so-called “Equality Act” that has been the subject of so much controversy and debate over the past several months. As we await the U.S. Senate’s vote on this dangerous legislation, it is important to remember the ramifications of this bill should it pass. We cannot forget the real lives that will be forever impacted and the families that will be hurt should “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” became federally protected classes alongside race, color, religion, sex, and national origin.
To remind us of the families who have already been forever changed by radical transgender ideology, NC Family president John Rustin sits down to talk with Kristie, a North Carolina mother of a transgender-identifying daughter. Kristie continues sharing her story with us on this week’s Family Policy Matters radio show and podcast, in Part 2 of a 2-part interview.
After Kristie’s daughter “came out” as transgender in her senior year of high school, Kristie felt lost and unable to share her struggle with her friends and extended family. Kristie hopes that she can help other parents who are going through what she and her family did back in 2015. “I would recommend that they do find a local support network that is critical of this movement,” says Kristie. “It is very important for parents that are suffering with a child that is trans-identifying to find support. […] No one really quite understands the living grief that we’re suffering through, except for those parents who are going through it themselves.
Through this support system, Kristie hopes more parents and even medical professionals will find the courage to stand up to the transgender movement that is pervading schools, hospitals, and our very culture. “If you know that this is not right then stand firm and don’t play into your child’s fantasy that they can change their sex, because their sex is immutable; they cannot change that. […] You have to be their reality check.”
“Just stay connected with your child, continue to love your child no matter what, because as parents we just want what’s best for our child. Focus on their health and well-being. And pray! I recommend just continue praying that your child will open up their heart to God and talk about it. That’s another important thing. You have to be willing to talk about it; do not suffer in silence.”
Tune in to Family Policy Matters this week to hear Kristie provide more advice to families who are struggling as hers did in the face of the transgender trend.
JOHN RUSTIN: Today, we bring you Part 2 of a 2-part series featuring a North Carolina mother who has a transgender-identifying daughter. Kristie’s daughter experienced rapid onset gender dysphoria back in 2017. Kristie and her family have struggled for years to preserve their family, to love their daughter, and to honor God in the face of a struggle that has brought tremendous pain and difficulty upon their family. Kristie joins us on Family Policy Matters to bravely share her story and to provide insight and encouragement to other parents who may be facing similar struggles.
Kristie, I want to go back to one thing that you talked about, and that is that the therapist and the doctor that you took your daughter to see were quick to affirm her identity as a boy. Do you see this as a widespread practice within the medical community? Do you see this even among Christian counselors?
KRISTIE: Absolutely. There are med students who are being taught in medical school that they need to affirm whatever identity a patient comes in identifying as, and they’re told that if a person who has gender identity disorder comes in, they need to start medically transitioning this person. And, they’ll even tell parents that if you don’t allow your young child to start medically transitioning, they may commit suicide. And it’s just a scare tactic. Therapists are told from the APA that they need to affirm, and that is the new form of treatment. Christian therapists are reluctant to treat anyone that comes in with gender identity disorder because it goes against their beliefs. But, you know, with Governor Cooper’s executive order prohibiting federal and state funds to be used for any therapist that practices “conversion therapy”—as they call it—therapists’ hands are tied. They’re afraid to even question a patient that comes in.
JOHN RUSTIN: Kristie, it’s very concerning to see those within the medical community affirming teens and young adults—and even younger children—identifying as a gender opposite of their biological sex and going through transitions, physically, emotionally, mentally, and otherwise. What are some of the things that concern you most about not only the affirmation of these things, but the real impact that these transitions, especially the physical transitions, will have on those who choose to go through with them?
KRISTIE: Well, when children start taking hormones, whether it’s puberty blockers or cross-sex hormones, it changes their bodies and the children have irreversible damage to their bodies. They become sterile; their bodies are mutilated. These doctors that perform these surgeries are trying to fix a psychological problem by making changes to the bodies of these children. And it just really does not make sense to me because gender dysphoria is a mental illness as stated in the DSM-5. So why would a doctor want to treat a mental illness by changing the physical body of one of these vulnerable children and young adults? It just…it blows my mind that this is being done. And when the children do start taking hormones, they’re on these hormones for the rest of their lives, so they become a lifelong medical experiment. And doctors are experimenting on them, because they really don’t know what the long-term effects will be.
JOHN RUSTIN: Clearly the surgical transitions that are made are irreversible and these hormonal differences have just tremendous impacts on these individuals, and that’s just a great, great concern. Kristie, with the experiences that you and Kevin and your family have had, what resources have you found to be particularly helpful through this incredibly difficult time?
KRISTIE: Well, there are some really good websites out there. 4thWaveNow is a really good one. The Gender Resource Guide is excellent. Transgender Trend is another good website. Inspired Teen Therapy is a wonderful website. YouTube videos done by Benjamin Boyce are bringing awareness to this epidemic. There are also YouTube videos out there by The Heritage Foundation. Parents of ROGD Kids is a national organization that will connect people with their local support network. So, it is very important for parents that are suffering with a child that is trans-identifying to find support. That’s an organization that I’m involved in, and I can tell you that it’s very difficult for any parent that’s going through this. No one really quite understands the living grief that we’re suffering through, except for those parents who are going through it themselves.
JOHN RUSTIN: Kristie, as we conclude our conversation, I want to give you an opportunity to just share any advice that you would provide to other parents who are experiencing something similar to what you and your family have gone through.
KRISTIE: Well, I would say go with your gut instincts. If you know that this is not right then stand firm and don’t play into your child’s fantasy that they can change their sex, because their sex is immutable; they cannot change that. They can dress up and try to pretend to be someone else, but we know deep down who our children are. You have to be their reality check. I would be cautious with any therapist that you want to take your child to, and any medical professional, because they are very quick to start medicalization. And that’s very dangerous. I would recommend that they do find a local support network that is critical of this movement. And do your research, because there are a lot of really good websites out there. I didn’t mention before, but genderhq.org is another one. Just stay connected with your child, continue to love your child no matter what, because as parents we just want what’s best for our child. Focus on their health and well-being. And pray! I recommend just continue praying that your child will open up their heart to God and talk about it.
That’s another important thing. You have to be willing to talk about it; do not suffer in silence. You have to have a support network, and you may find that there are some people that do not agree with you if you are taking a critical stance. But there are plenty of people out there who will support you. I know that I’ve had some wonderful friends that every day send me inspirational messages, texts, occasionally to check in, to see how I’m doing. Things like that are really uplifting when you’re going through this. But just remember that biological sex and gender are not the same thing. The biological sex is your reality. Gender is your perception of how your body is being presented. And that’s, you know, something that can change from one day to the next.
JOHN RUSTIN: And I think that’s something that our culture has flipped on its head. Gender is what has historically been identity; it has become reality, and that sex has become something that’s just malleable or changeable in our culture. And it’s just incredible.
KRISTIE: Reverend Vaughan Roberts wrote in his book, Transgender, that a friend had once said, “Pop culture says your psychology is your sexual identity; let your body be conformed to it. But the Bible says your body is your sexual identity; let your mind be conformed to it.” And I think that’s so important because, you know, God made us male and female, and we have to honor the integrity of our bodies and not try to change it.
I also believe that with the SOGI laws that are out there, like the Equality Act, they really should not be lumping “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” together because they’re really two different things. For people who identify as LGB, they’re really just trying to love who they want to love. For kids and young adults who have gender identity disorder, they hate their bodies. So there’s a huge difference there between love and hate. And I really, I really hope and pray that our senators will vote against the Equality Act because what it will do is just pave the way for more children to proceed down the transgender path and become medicalized. It will also tie the hands of medical professionals, so any doctor that refuses to treat a patient that presents with gender identity dysphoria, and any doctor that doesn’t believe in this, will be denied the right to say, “No, I’m not going to perform this operation on you.” And I think that is going to change our lives forever. The family unit is being changed forever by these laws. I really just hope that people are going to start speaking up because there are de- transitioners out there who will say, “I never should have done this to my body. It did not fix my problems.” And so we’re hoping that more of those people will come forward and we’re hoping doctors will speak up and say, “What my colleagues are doing is wrong.”
JOHN RUSTIN: Well, I couldn’t agree more with you. Kristie, thank you so much for being with us on Family Policy Matters and for sharing your story in such a personal and powerful way. We will, of course, continue to pray for you and for Kevin and your family, and especially Danielle. And we do pray God’s blessings on you all, and look forward to speaking with you again in the future.
KRISTIE: Thank you so much. I really appreciate the opportunity to hopefully build awareness that this truly is an epidemic, and it’s capturing the lives of so many young adolescents and young adults.
– END PART TWO –